When someone you love has dementia, it’s important to keep communicating and connecting with them. Here are some tips to help you.

Get their attention

• Reduce the number of distractions. Turn off the TV or stereo.
• Say the person’s name and make eye contact before speaking to them. This can help them focus on you and lets them watch your face for information.
• Gently touch their arm or hand to get their attention.

Be clear

• Keep information short and be direct.
• Use gestures or pictures if they’re helpful.
• Say important things twice to help the person stay focused. Pause in between.

Support their understanding

• Be patient. Give the person extra time to respond.
• Give the person choices instead of asking open-ended questions. For example, you could say, “Would you like a sandwich or soup?” instead of “What do you want for lunch?” This can help when a person seems to be struggling to answer or come up with ideas.
• Try making comments instead of asking lots of questions, which can feel like a test. For example, while looking at a photo album, say, “There’s Uncle Fred, driving the tractor,” instead of “Who’s that?” or “What’s he doing?”
• Make suggestions if the person doesn’t answer a question. For example, “The soup looks good today. I recommend that.”

Use writing and other tools

• Write reminders and steps on how to do things, like instructions for how to turn off their hearing aid at night.
• Use calendars and memory books to help the person to remember. If the person is in a care home, this also helps them talk about memories with healthcare providers and visitors.
• If the person is in a care home, leave a diary for visitors to write notes about their time together.

Be together

• There may be times when the person says very little and doesn’t seem to be responding. On these days, just being together can be meaningful. If it’s OK, hold their hand, tell them about your day, or just sit quietly together.

Where to get help

Speech-language pathologists and audiologists can help with speech, language, and hearing concerns. Ask your healthcare provider or visit Adult Community Rehabilitation to learn more.​