Talk about your grief and how you feel with your partner. If you find it hard to talk about this, write your thoughts down before you share them. Caring family and friends can also help you work through your grief, even if they don’t fully understand what you’re going through or how you’re feeling.

You may also want to get professional support or go to a support group. Many parents find talking to other people who have been through a loss helps them learn more about their own grief. Support groups will give you the chance to meet parents who know and understand how you feel.

Twin or multiple pregnancy loss

Losing a twin or a multiple pregnancy is unique. Parents often form strong bonds with the babies and think about how the siblings would have been together. You may be grieving for more than one baby.

When one or more babies survive, you may feel a mix of different feelings. This may include worry for your continuing pregnancy and grief for your loss. It can be confusing when being excited about your new baby reminds you of the lost moments with a sibling. Even though you may have a pregnancy that continues, you may feel sad about the loss and anxious about the baby who is continuing to survive. It can be helpful to go to a support group or attend counselling.

When to get help

It’s not always easy to ask for help. Feeling sad or unhappy can lead to loneliness and depression over time.

Know the signs of depression so you and your partner know what to watch for. If you need help, call Health Link at 811 or contact someone in your area for counselling or crisis support. Get help if you or your partner notice that you:

• suddenly start crying months after your loss
• can’t get out of bed or do things you usually enjoy
• sleep less or more than normal
• feel numb or withdraw from your partner, family, or friends
• work more than your usual schedule
• use alcohol or other drugs more than usual
• have sudden behaviour changes that aren’t usual for you
• keep focusing on events that happened around your loss
• feel unwell for longer than you should
• feel very angry or agitated
• spend a lot of money or gamble
• have new or more relationship issues

You’re not alone. There is always support available.

If you need help, try these ideas:

• seek counselling with a pregnancy or infant loss grief counsellor
• attend a peer support group or bereaved parents group
• attend memorial events or events of remembrance
• get private or couples counselling
• read books or articles, or watch videos about ways to cope
• read or write parent blogs

Find a list of support programs and helplines to connect you to other resources.​​