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Intensive Care: A Guide for You and Your Family

Recovery at home

You may notice that things are different when you first get home after being in the ICU. You may not feel like yourself, close family and friends might treat you a bit differently, and you may need to adjust your routines until you are stronger. This is all normal for recovery.

Return to routine

Lots of people worry about coming home or going back to work after being in the hospital. You may wonder if you’ll be strong enough or be able to do what will be expected of you. This is normal.

If you have young children or other important responsibilities, you may feel more pressure to get back to your usual routine. Make a plan with your family about how you can change things at home to help you. Getting completely well takes time. It’s OK to ask for help until you’re strong enough to do things yourself.

If you have a job, you may need to be off work for a while after you get home. Talk to your boss about when you and your doctor think you might be able to come back to work. You may need to start by working only a couple of hours a day or a few days a week and gradually add hours until you’re back to your usual schedule.

Your body

You’ll probably feel tired and weak when you first get home. Your muscles lose strength when you’re ill and not active. The longer you’re ill, the weaker your muscles will be.

When to call the doctor

Call or talk to your family doctor if you:

  • need more support
  • have symptoms that you’re worried about
  • have questions about anything to do with your health
  • If you don’t have a family doctor, call Health Link at 811 or use Find a Doctor

Think of your recovery in months instead of weeks. It can take up to 18 months for you to feel fully like yourself again. Set small, realistic goals. Keeping a diary can help you track your progress. You can read it to notice all the small improvements you’re making.

Stay positive. Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do anymore. If a full recovery back to your usual activity and strength is not possible, you can still live a full, purposeful life.

Breathing
Voice
Skin and hair
Changes to your 5 senses
Going to the bathroom
Smoking
Sleep
Appetite and eating

Mental health

When you get home, your mood may change often, and you may feel:

  • upset and tearful
  • tired, not being able to sleep properly
  • like you don’t care what you look like
  • quick-tempered and snappy

You may also feel:

  • guilty for causing so much trouble and worry
  • like you don’t understand what has happened to you and how ill you’ve been
  • scared that you almost died
  • worried about getting ill again
  • worried about how long it’s taking to recover

As you get better and start doing more, you’ll face new challenges. They can make you feel scared—try to keep calm and take slow, deep breaths. You may find that feelings or reactions may be triggered by a sound, smell, or something you see. These reactions usually disappear over time. If these feelings do not improve, it may help to speak to a counsellor or doctor.

Hallucinations and paranoia

It’s common for ICU patients to have hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren’t really there) or nightmares. You may have had dreams where you feel like you’re being tortured, trapped in bed, or that you’re being held captive. This could be from the intravenous (IV) lines and catheters connected to you to help support your body and monitor your condition when you were in the ICU. The fear can stay with you for weeks after you’ve left the ICU.

You may also have felt some paranoia (thinking others want to harm you). This too normally passes with time.

If you’re scared to go back to the hospital for a follow-up appointment, take someone you trust for support.

In a few cases, you (or your family) may have extreme symptoms of stress after treatment in the ICU. This is called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and is rare. It can help to talk to a professional counsellor about your stay in the hospital. You can ask your family doctor to refer you for counselling


Relationships

When you’ve been very sick, your relationships can change. Your family and friends may be very concerned about how you’re feeling. They might not understand why you seem different, can’t focus, or why you aren’t interested in the hobbies you used to enjoy.

Your family and friends were very worried about you. They may want to do everything for you when you get home to show how much they care about you. If this annoys you or you want to start doing more for yourself, talk to them calmly about how you feel. Don’t keep your feelings to yourself.

Sex

It‘s normal to be worried about when it’s safe to start having sex again. Your partner is likely worried about this too.

Some questions you may have are:

  • Will my scars be healed enough?
  • Will my medical device (such as a colostomy bag, catheter, or pacemaker) get in the way?
  • Will I hurt or ache too much?
  • Will I be strong enough?
  • What if my partner doesn’t want to have sex?
  • What if I can’t continue or can’t reach an orgasm?
  • What’s going to happen?

If you’re wondering if you’re strong enough for sex, keep track of how well you’re doing with your exercises. If you’re doing well with your exercises without being too sore or tired, you may be ready to have sex again.

Most people find it hard to talk about sex. Try to relax, keep your sense of humour, and be honest with your partner. Take things slowly and remember that cuddles are an important way to build intimacy too.

Sometimes medical problems such as impotence (being unable to get and keep an erection) can affect your sex life. If you’re worried, talk to your family doctor.


Making sense of your stay in the ICU

After leaving the hospital, you may have questions about your stay in the ICU. You may not remember everything, or you may be confused about certain things. Here are some ways that can help you to better understand and remember your ICU stay.

Visit the ICU

You are welcome to come back to the ICU to look around, talk to some of the staff who took care of you, and find out more about what happened to you.

This type of visit can be scary. It may take time until you feel ready to do it. But it can help you to better understand and remember your time in the ICU.

Write about it

It’s normal if you don’t remember everything that happened in the ICU. Write down what you do remember. You can try to remember something about each day you were in hospital to help make sense of the time you lost.

Ask your loved ones

It may help to ask your loved ones what they remember. They may have kept a diary or notes while you were in the ICU. It may take a while before you feel ready to read about or talk about your time in the ICU. It can be an emotional experience, but many people find it helpful.

Learn about your health condition

You may want to know more about the medical reason you were in the ICU. If it helps, you can learn more about your condition and what happened to you. You can talk to your family doctor or any of your healthcare team during follow-up appointments.

Get involved

If you want to contribute your time to the ICU and the care of ICU patients and their families, ask your ICU how you can become involved.


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