Part of the grief process is taking care of your emotional, physical, social, and spiritual health. You may find yourself switching between getting by, getting better, and grieving. Find ways to cope that work for you and try new ways to look after yourself.
Emotional
- Acknowledge that you’ve had a significant loss.
- Take time for yourself. Get a massage, listen to music, read, or paint.
- Take time to look at special mementos or your memory box.
- Create a place that’s calm and relaxed with soft lighting and comforting music.
- Practice mindfulness or meditation.
- Write a letter to your baby, write in your journal, or blog.
- Let yourself be angry and find healthy ways to express it.
Physical
- Take care of yourself and drink lots of water. Tears can be dehydrating.
- Make sure you eat. If this is hard, eat small amounts more often.
- Stay active. It will help you sleep and give you more energy.
- Try to keep your normal bedtime routine.
- Practice yoga. Even a few minutes before bed can help you sleep better.
Social
- Reach out to loved ones and support persons
- Let friends and family help out with cooking, housework, or errands.
- Do things you enjoy.
Spiritually
- Take part in spiritual or religious activities.
- Find ways to remember your baby during holidays (for example, a special ornament).
- Make time to remember.
- Go to events like a candle-lighting ceremony or a walk to remember.
- Plant a tree or your favourite flowers to help you remember your baby.
Unhealthy ways to cope with grief include:
- working too much
- using alcohol or other drugs
- spending time away from home or your partner
- withdrawing or pulling away from your partner physically and emotionally
Try to stay away from these behaviours and talk about your grief when you can. It can take time to learn to cope in healthy ways. If you need help, call Health Link at 811 or contact someone in your area for counselling or crisis support. Learn more about finding support after a miscarriage.
Coping with milestones
It’s normal for feelings of grief and memories to return throughout the year. It can happen during the holiday season, the anniversary of your loss or pregnancy, or your due date. Look ahead on your calendar and plan something special for yourself so it isn’t so hard on the upcoming day, anniversary, or holiday.
Many families find ways to honour their baby can be helpful. This is one of the ways you can continue to remember and parent your baby.
