​​​​Sexual abuse or assault can happen to anyone. If this has happened to you, you are not to blame. The attacker (also called the assailant or abuser) may be a stranger, someone you know, a close friend, partner or ex-partner, or a family member. Many victims of abuse or assault know their assailant.

If you have experienced sexual abuse or assault, it may be hard for you to tell someone. You may feel shame or guilt and be too afraid of the attacker to say anything. But it’s important to get help. Talk to a health care professional, such as a doctor, nurse, or counsellor, the police or call your local sexual assault centre. These professionals can help you get medical treatment and tell you what you need to do to report the abuse or assault. They can also take steps to help you deal with your feelings and start to recover.

Sexual assault

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual act or behavior forced on a person without their consent. This means you did not give consent or you weren’t able to give consent. The attacker of a sexual assault may use threats, violence, force, or use drugs or alcohol to prevent a person from being able to react to, resist or remember the assault. Sexual assault includes:

• forced sexual intercourse (sometimes called rape)
• forced oral sex
• placing an object into the vagina or anus without your consent
• unwanted sexual touching or fondling

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is when someone in a position of power or authority (such as a parent, teacher or coach) takes advantage of a person’s trust and respect to get them to take part in sexual activity. Sexual abuse may happen over and over or it may happen one time. It can involve any type of behavior or act that is a sexual assault. Sexual abuse also forcing a person to:

• look at a naked body or naked genital area
• show their own naked body
• watch or look or take part in sexual pictures or movies
• watch a sexual act, such as masturbation
• touch or be touched (fondled)

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Call 911 if you feel threatened or need immediate help.

If you’ve been sexually assaulted

If you’ve been sexually assaulted, remember the assault was not your fault. Here are steps to take after a sexual assault:

• Find a safe place to go.
• Go to a doctor or visit your nearest Emergency Department. Even if you don’t see or feel a physical injury, it’s important to talk to a healthcare provider about the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as chlamydia and HIV.
• Keep evidence from the assault if you are thinking about reporting it. It’s best not to wash, shower, bathe, wipe after you pee or change your clothes until you have had a medical exam.

Medical care and help

You can have medical care and treatment even if you decide not to report the assault to the police. You can also choose whether or not to have an exam with a sexual assault examination kit. A sexual assault examination kit includes a physical exam and the collection of specimens after a sexual assault.

Your options for care and reporting are:

• You have medical care but the sexual assault is not reported to the police and no samples collected for a sexual assault examination kit.
• You have medical care and the sexual assault is reported to the police and samples are collected for the kit.
• Some places may give you the option to have samples collected for the kit and store them until you decide if you want to report the assault to the police. This is also called a “third option”.

There are many resources to help you recover from a sexual assault. Find out about getting help where you live.

Taking care of yourself

Taking care of yourself is an important part of your recovery. You can do the following things to help take care of yourself:

• Go to all follow-up medical appointments.
• Eat healthy foods.
• Try to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep each day.
• Exercise. Even small amounts of exercise can help you feel better and lower your stress.
• Get support from family and friends. Spend time with family or friends who you’re comfortable with and enjoy being with.
• Get counselling. Talk to a professional counsellor or go to a support group to help you heal.

If you are a victim of sexual abuse or assault and are having trouble coping, you may have post-traumatic stress. Learn about post-traumatic stress disorder.

If a child has been sexually abused or assaulted

If a child tells you that they have been sexually abused or assaulted, stay calm and thank them for telling you. Tell the child that you believe them and that you will do your best to keep them safe. Report the abuse or assault to the local police or a child protective services agency.

Find out more about sexual abuse and assault in children.​

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Sexual violence can happen to anyone. Sexual abuse and assault is never the victim's fault.

Sexual abuse and assault is always the assailant’s fault.

You have the right to decide to have sex or not. And you can change your mind at any time, even if it’s after you have started to have sex.

Part of being in a healthy relationship means that you and your partner talk about how intimate you want to be and don’t feel pressure to do something you don’t want to do.

Any sexual contact without consent is sexual assault. Consent means both people give and get permission to take part in sexual activity.

There are many myths about sexual violence. We can create a healthy culture by talking about sex and speaking up against rape jokes or people shown as a sex objects in the media.

Staying safe

If you have been affected by sexual violence, you may worry about your safety. We can all take steps to help keep ourselves and each other safe.

• When you go out, go with a group of friends. Arrive together, watch out for each other, and leave together.
• Be aware of your surroundings and know where exits are or where you can go for help if you need it. When you go out at night, look for a parking spot in an area with lots of light.
• Make a plan for safety – know where there safe places are, let others know where you are going, know your own limits around drugs and alcohol and have a backup plan

Tips to teach children

Tell children:

• that’s it’s not okay for anyone to act in a sexual way with them, such as asking to take a photo of their private parts or sexual touching
• that it’s okay to say no and leave the situation if they are uncomfortable
• that their bodies are their own and that it’s okay if they don’t want a hug or other contact that makes them uncomfortable
• to use proper names for their body parts so they can tell you if someone is acting in a sexual way with them
• to talk to you or another trusted adult if they don’t feel safe, and to keep on telling an adult until they say they can help

Other resources

Learn about sexual health and your rights at Action Canada for Sexual Health and Rights or call 1-888-642-2725.

Visit Teaching Sexual Health for information about teaching children about consent.

To prepare for your appointment, see the topic Making the Most of Your Appointment.

If you have made an appointment with your health professional, you may be able to get the most from your visit by being prepared to answer the following questions:

• Has anyone forced you to have sexual activities?
• Has the sexual abuse increased recently? When was the last forced sexual contact?
• Has a child, family member, or friend been forced to have sexual activities? When did it occur? What action was taken?
• Has the abuser threatened violence against your children or other people? Is he or she violent toward your children?
• Is the person who harmed you using any illegal drugs or alcohol?
• Does the person who harmed you have access to guns or other violent weapons?
• Do you have any risk factors that increase your chance of becoming a victim of sexual abuse or assault?

Author: Healthwise Staff

Medical Review: William H. Blahd, Jr., MD, FACEP - Emergency Medicine & Adam Husney, MD - Family Medicine & Kathleen Romito, MD - Family Medicine & Martin J. Gabica, MD - Family Medicine

To learn more about Healthwise, visit Healthwise.org

© 1995-2018 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​There are many resources to help you through sexual abuse or assault that have toll‑free numbers and provide help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Some of these services are available in multiple languages. In an emergency, call 911 or visit your nearest Emergency Department.

If you want to print a copy of this information but don't think it’s safe to keep at home, ask a trusted friend to keep it for you. Plan ahead. Know who you can call for help and memorize important phone numbers.

Canada‑wide resources

• Visit Canadian Association for Suicide to find a suicide prevention crisis centre in your province.
• Visit Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres to find a rape crisis or women's centre in your province.
• Kids and teens can visit Kids Help Phone or call 1‑800‑668‑6868 to talk to a counsellor.

Alberta

Call the following resources or click on the links to visit the websites below:

• For provincial health information call 811 or visit Health Link.
• Family Violence Prevention supports and services – numbers are available on the website
• Family Violence Info Line – 310‑1818
• Alberta Association of Sexual Assault Services
• Calgary Communities Against Sexual Assault – 403‑237‑5888 or 1‑888‑237‑5888 (toll‑free)
• Child Abuse Hotline – 1‑800‑387‑5437.
• Calgary Sexual Assault Response Team information line – 403‑955‑6030
• Sexual Assault Response Team (in Edmonton only)
• Bullying Helpline – 1‑888‑456‑2323
• Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton (SACE)
• Mental Health Helpline – 1‑877‑303‑2642
• Addiction Services Helpline – 1‑866‑332-2322.

British Columbia

Call the following resources or click on the links to visit the websites below:

• For provincial health information call 811 or visit HealthLinkBC
• VictimLinkBC – 1‑800‑563-0808
• Keeping Kids Safe – 1‑800‑663‑9122
• Children and youth can call the Helpline for Children at 310‑1234.
• BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services – 310‑6789
• Crisis Centre – 1‑800‑784-2433

New Brunswick

Call the following resources or click on the links to visit the websites below:

• For provincial health information call 811
• Emergency Social Services – local phone numbers are available on the website or call 1‑800‑442‑9799
• Fredericton Sexual Assault Centre – 506‑454‑0437
• Call the CHIMO Helpline at 1‑800‑667‑5005

Ontario

Call the following resources or click on the links to visit the websites below:

• For provincial health information call TeleHealth Ontario at 1‑866‑797‑0000
• Assaulted Women's Helpline – 1‑866‑863‑0511
• Distress and Crisis Ontario local phone numbers are available on the website
• Drug and Alcohol Helpline – 1‑800‑565‑8603
• Mental Health Helpline – 1‑866‑531‑2600

Quebec

Call the following resources or click on the links to visit the websites below:

• For provincial health Information call 811 or visit Info‑Sante.
• Domestic Violence
• Batshaw Youth and Family Centres
• Youth Protection Services – 514‑935‑6196
• Drugs: Help and Referral – 1‑800‑265‑2626
• Preventing Suicide – 1‑866‑277‑3553
• Mental Health

Saskatchewan

Call the following resources or click on the links to visit the websites below:

• For provincial health information call 811 or visit HealthLine.
• Victims of Crime and Abuse
• Child Abuse and Neglect – local phone numbers are available on the website
• Mental Health and Addiction Services

Yukon

Call the following resources or click on the links to visit the websites below:

• For territorial health information:
  • call 811
  • visit HealthLine
  • If you are calling from a satellite phone, call HealthLink BC at 604‑215‑4700
• Family and Children's Services – 1‑800‑661‑0408 extension 3002
• VictimLink – 1‑800‑563‑0808
• Department of Justice – Need Help? Phone Directory
• Alcohol and Drug Services – 1‑855‑667‑5777

Other provinces and territories

Check your local phone book or provincial or territorial website.

• Domestic Abuse
• Physical Abuse

Author: Healthwise Staff

Medical Review: William H. Blahd, Jr., MD, FACEP - Emergency Medicine & Adam Husney, MD - Family Medicine & Kathleen Romito, MD - Family Medicine & Martin J. Gabica, MD - Family Medicine

To learn more about Healthwise, visit Healthwise.org

© 1995-2018 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.